Cast:

• Introduction Person: Christine
• Checkov: Krystle
• Khan: Stevo
• Kirk: Ethan
• Dr. Marcus: the Abbinator
• The Genesis Project: Kirby the Plant
• Duty: Duty
• Saavik: Kelly
• Scottie: Em
• Spock: Amanda

It should be stated that this skit was done with the entire group reading off of one script. Only three people knew their lines by heart. (This averaged about 4 words per person who knew their line.) Such preparation is not only typical of the pit, we find it to be a critical element of putting on the highest-quality performance.

Checkov: I am on this planet to make sure there are no life forms so that we may test the genesis project (explores) look at this abandoned space ship. Botany Bay. Botany Bay! Oh no!

Khan: I am Khan. I am really angry because Captin Kirk left me on this deserted planted which made my wife die. Now I am going to get revenge by sticking this worm in your ear and controlling your brain!

Checkov: Nooooooo!

Kirk: We are exploring space.

Dr. Marcus: Help help! They're trying to take the genesis project!

Khan: (sneaks up) I will blow you up now!

Kirk: Ahhh! Who's blowing us up?

Khan: Let them eat static!

Kirk: Ahhhh!

Khan: Do you know the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."? It is very cold... in space.

Kirk: Oh no! Khan is trying to kill us! Good thing I know the secret code to make his shields go down.

Duty: Our shields are down!

Khan: Put them back up!

Duty: I can't!

Khan: Ahhhh! We're being blown up! Run away!

Kirk: Let's go after them!

Saavik: But Regulations say we need to do the following twenty million things!

Kirk: Shut up. First we need to get marooned!

Khan: You're dead. You're dead!

Kirk: Khan, you bloodsucker. You're gonna have to do your own dirty work now, do you hear me? Do you? You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target. You were going to kill me, Khan. You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to come down here.

Khan: I no longer need to try

All: I've done more than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on...hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me. As you left her. Marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet. Buried alive... Buried alive... Buried alive... Khaaaaaan. (zoom out). Khaaaaaan. (zoom out) .Khaaaaaan!

Kirk: Since we are marooned, let's do some yoga.

Scottie: Actually, not. I'm going to beam you up now

Kirk: Let's go kick some Khan butt. FIRE!

Khan: not before I kill your best friend (blows up)

Spock: (dies) credits